The Science of Crazy/Hot is Settled

You'll notice that there's no mention of cows in the graph a fact that tends to support my initial skepticism of the whole bovine value system. Also, from talking this over with friends (oh, who am I kidding--random strangers who stop to sit on my park bench), I find that many of their fathers gave them similar advice. Not my Dad, however, even though it would have saved me unspeakable pain and suffering, because he was, well, working his a55 off trying to provide for a family of ungrateful brats, as was customary of his generation and mine, and probably had neither the time nor the inclination to impart this specific wisdom.

Therefor, growing up with two older sisters (who weren't about to give me any clues on the subject) and no older brother to mentor me,  I had to figure this stuff out all by myself. And I must say I did pretty well, overall, with a few grievous judgement errors along the way, but hey, we're only human.

Note that while it's true that I only dated cheerleaders, several were redheads and one was named Tiffany. A couple may have grown up to be strippers and hairdressers but I don't know for sure. I haven't really kept in touch as much as I should have. So I suppose that I spent a bit too much time in the danger zone for my own good, which goes a long way towards explaining certain chronic syndromes which still consume me: general anxiety and jumpiness, paranoia, lunar sensitivity, manic depression...