Paid Professional Pickled in Paris

An unlikely meetup: Freud and Bacon discussing philosophy and scientific method in the city of lights.

Oh my. What can you say about an 'alternative counselor' who shows up at 10 AM, already three sheets to the wind? I mean sauced, stewed, skunked... steam-pigged!  Playing with action figures and squeezy toys.  How embarrassing. After the fifth coffee I sensed a hopeful calming but it was only a thin cloud of sobriety, briefly passing. In an instant the the full blaze of her soused agitation returned with a fury. This whole meetup business is fraught with peril.

But it only went downhill from there. I cringed in horror as she accosted a passing pair of roistering midgets, shouting "A penisssh is jussa phallic symbol!"  She then grabbed the waiter by the sleeve, his platinum cuff link falling into a steam grate, and quizzed him incessantly. "Yoowura bused asachild, werntcher? HOWDUSSH SHHAT MAKE YOU FEEL?!"

Mortifying.

But enough about my latest mismatch.com date. I managed to extract myself from that humiliating situation, in extremis, then I went to meet Susan in from Seattle, who is exactly as charming and lovely as you would imagine. How refreshing.