Missing Flow
No, not 'Flo' (or Florence, as her parents had named her), that doe-eyed, hyper-taciturn graphic designer I briefly dated during my first months in Paris. She, who never spoke unless spoken to and then only in monosyllables. It was a frustrating relationship due, I thought at the time, to my ineloquent, halting French. Her non responsiveness drove me to evermore frantic attempts at conversation in a language over which I held no mastery. In vain, it so happens, since the natives later confirmed to me that she was indeed eerily--perhaps pathologically reserved.
Not I'm not missing Flo, but the State of Flow or The Zone, as it is sometimes called. That euphoric mode of being, wherein the concentration is sharply tuned; the hand and the mind are two ends of the same infallible precision instrument. Time evaporates, care falls away and there is no struggle, only an effortless rush towards outcome that surpasses all planning and preparation.
It's been so long since I've basked in Flow that I'd nearly forgotten what it was like. Almost. It still taunts me in brief flashes, but the cares of the world are quick to draw me back into this mortal coil of uncompromising woe.
So, from whence does this fine Flow flow? Let's have a look at the graph below, elaborated by the father of flow, Hungarian psychologist Csíkszentmihályi Mihály who for the sake of brevity we shall refer to as "That Flow Guy".
What stands out?
That's right, Flow is the polar opposite of Apathy. Good catch. But that's not the whole story. While I'm no stranger to apathy, fact is, for some time now, my emotional state has more often vacillated between anxiety and boredom, which you will also have noted are secondary and tertiary antagonists to the coveted flow state. Arousal and control, the kissing cousins of flow have been aloof, and persistently so. Throw in the occasional and sundry worry and it becomes evident that my internal gyroscope is wholly tilted out of the groove.
According to the findings of TFG, flow is most likely achieved when practicing an activity that requires high levels of skill and challenge. That sheds some light on my conundrum since I have been courting projects that require little or no effort and are of no perceivable interest to me or the public at large. My reasoning has been thus: Churn the crap out and set the billing process in motion ASAP so as to spare my quality time for sweet, flow-inducing projects of my own design. However, this strategy has largely failed since TFG's graph omits an essential element, namely Peace of Mind. I find it increasingly difficult to let go and flow while niggardly Wormtongue voices whisper in my mind that bills are coming due and the children need new shoes and you shouldn't be wasting your time with vanity projects when you could be doing more crap for cash, &c.
And so, I find myself in the unsatisfactory middle ground, purposely over-complicating miserable jobs in a vain attempt to add challenge and trigger my higher skills and thus instigate flow. Alas, this approach only makes my time wasted on crap less profitable.
Yet, back in those days of 'Flo', I had flow in abundance. And peace of mind--no children wanting footwear, no bills that could not be delinquent nor debts that could not be defaulted on. I was living carefree life--as the they say here d'amour et d'eau fraîche. Perhaps I should just forget all about flow and knuckle down. Grind away like everyone else. I had it once and it was nice but face it, flow is a young man's game.
Not I'm not missing Flo, but the State of Flow or The Zone, as it is sometimes called. That euphoric mode of being, wherein the concentration is sharply tuned; the hand and the mind are two ends of the same infallible precision instrument. Time evaporates, care falls away and there is no struggle, only an effortless rush towards outcome that surpasses all planning and preparation.
It's been so long since I've basked in Flow that I'd nearly forgotten what it was like. Almost. It still taunts me in brief flashes, but the cares of the world are quick to draw me back into this mortal coil of uncompromising woe.
So, from whence does this fine Flow flow? Let's have a look at the graph below, elaborated by the father of flow, Hungarian psychologist Csíkszentmihályi Mihály who for the sake of brevity we shall refer to as "That Flow Guy".
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That's right, Flow is the polar opposite of Apathy. Good catch. But that's not the whole story. While I'm no stranger to apathy, fact is, for some time now, my emotional state has more often vacillated between anxiety and boredom, which you will also have noted are secondary and tertiary antagonists to the coveted flow state. Arousal and control, the kissing cousins of flow have been aloof, and persistently so. Throw in the occasional and sundry worry and it becomes evident that my internal gyroscope is wholly tilted out of the groove.
According to the findings of TFG, flow is most likely achieved when practicing an activity that requires high levels of skill and challenge. That sheds some light on my conundrum since I have been courting projects that require little or no effort and are of no perceivable interest to me or the public at large. My reasoning has been thus: Churn the crap out and set the billing process in motion ASAP so as to spare my quality time for sweet, flow-inducing projects of my own design. However, this strategy has largely failed since TFG's graph omits an essential element, namely Peace of Mind. I find it increasingly difficult to let go and flow while niggardly Wormtongue voices whisper in my mind that bills are coming due and the children need new shoes and you shouldn't be wasting your time with vanity projects when you could be doing more crap for cash, &c.
And so, I find myself in the unsatisfactory middle ground, purposely over-complicating miserable jobs in a vain attempt to add challenge and trigger my higher skills and thus instigate flow. Alas, this approach only makes my time wasted on crap less profitable.
Yet, back in those days of 'Flo', I had flow in abundance. And peace of mind--no children wanting footwear, no bills that could not be delinquent nor debts that could not be defaulted on. I was living carefree life--as the they say here d'amour et d'eau fraîche. Perhaps I should just forget all about flow and knuckle down. Grind away like everyone else. I had it once and it was nice but face it, flow is a young man's game.
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